Was really pissed off at Tim today. It appears that last night he can sit at his computer and poke me on Facebook for 30 minutes but he can't pick up his phone which is right next to him and text me. He'd texted me earlier yesterday and then just stopped talking to me in the middle of the conversation. Replied twice when I tried texting him again, then nothing, not even a good night text. A stupid thing to be mad about, but it put me over the edge. I'm sick of it. This happens every time. We hang out, everything is wonderful, he behaves exactly the way I know he's capable of: kind, loving, attentive, considerate....and then the next day he virtually ignores me. And the next. And the next. I can't deal with it any more. Either I get the person I KNOW is in there, the person that you only show me when we're alone and you don't care what people think...or you just don't care. So, I was extremely rude and inconsiderate. I was curt with him; when he asked what was wrong, I told him I was mad at him; he could figure it out. He asked, why was I mad at him? I told him: I'm tired of being treated like a convenience in your life when you're a priority in mine. So until you can get your priorities figured out and where I fit into them...I don't care. He tried to protest that it wasn't true, that I wasn't a convenience, but I cut him off, then very coldly wished him a good parade. He stood there, sort of stunned for a moment, then left.
....it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I didn't talk to him before parade like I normally do. When he got on the bus next to me, I pointedly ignored him in favor of conversation with someone else. So he texted me. I responded twice--until he tried to claim that I wasn't ignoring him if I was texting him back...so I leaned over and deliberately snapped my phone shut in his face and returned it to my bag. Didn't speak in Cosmo. Ignored his presence as if he were a stranger I just happened to be in the same area with. I had been planning on going to watch him in the Hoedown that afternoon since he was doing his favorite part, but when I suggested it yesterday that was the point he stopped responding. So when I got an offer to go to Sweet Tomatoes with some of the girls, I took it. Dinner was fun, just hanging out. Talked to Lauren a bit about Tim, but she was very clearly of the opinion that I should have dropped it a long time ago. Patient, but not very sympathetic. *sigh*
Headed back home, read for a while, then cleaned the bathroom with Sheilah. FINALLY. Lara came home and in the course of the conversation, called me high maintenance, a fact of which I had been blithely unaware of. I don't like that term, it sounds so negative. I prefer to think that I just have a stringent hygiene regimen. Posted a rather melodramatic status on Facebook, which Tim actually responded to. And he texted me good night too, though in a very uncertain manner. I'm opting to not respond to any texts unless and until he makes an apology or an offer to talk. I want him to realize that he can't keep treating me the way he has been and expect me to stick around. He may have made some improvements, yes, but it's not enough. He promised me that he wouldn't slide back into those old habits...but he has. Too much so to be ignored. I need more than this. I deserve more than this. I DEMAND more than this. And until he can give it to me...he gets nothing.
And it is breaking my heart.