Golden Bear (eithne_star) wrote,
Golden Bear

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Nothing is Trivial

One of my family's oldest friends daughter had her bridal shower today. Marisa is getting married Labor Day Weekend, the first day of Faire. I think that's the 4th of September. It was a really gorgeous shower; lots of presents, good food, and a TON of people. Afterwards, I came home and slept for a couple hours. Since I had nothing else to do, I decided to watch The Crow. I hadn't seen it in a while, and I was feeling sort of depressed and lonely since nobody was home. I can't even describe how it made me feel. I had the volume turned up really loud, and since I was the only one here, no one bothered me or talked while I was watching. I got more involved seeing it this time than I have before. It just felt so familiar. I'm not explaining this very well, because I'm not sure what I want to say. It's Mike. It's me, and it's Mike. I know everyone is probably getting really sick of me talking about him, but I can't help it. I fall asleep and he's in my dreams. Every second I'm not at school or at work I want to spend with him. It doesn't matter if we go out to dinner, watch a movie, or just sit next to each other and read our books. I can't imagine my life without him. I picture his hands, wearing a wedding ring. Our wedding ring. Now I understand how he felt when I was dating Stephen; the waiting for him to come back to me is torture. I'm not obsessed. I'm just so deeply, ultimately in love with him that it feels like part of me is missing when we're not together. My parents will never understand. I barely understand. But somehow, our souls are linked, mated. Two halves of the same coin, light and dark. There will never be another love like Michael, like my Dark Bear. Real love IS forever.

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