Golden Bear (eithne_star) wrote,
Golden Bear

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Gypsy Feeling

Well, my summer is nearly at an end, and I'm dreading going back to school. Really, it's mostly the fact that I'll be so far away from all the people that matter most to me, and especially from Mike. I'm going to try and come back as often as possible, but taking 17 hours of school and driving 3 hours isn't going to be a piece of cake. I just wish that I could graduate already and get on with living my life..whatever that may be. As long as I'm around the people I love, I really don't care at this point. I don't really know what I'm talking about, I'm just feeling a little out-of-place with myself, a bit off-kilter for some reason. I feel like I just keep bouncing around from one part of my life to another, and I can't quite manage to get them together enough to form a cohesive whole. It's like juggling glass balls. If I get too far off balance, or throw one in the wrong direction, it will shatter everywhere and be lost. And the worst part is, I failed my juggling section in my acting class last semester. I don't know. I'm trying to keep my parents from getting mad at me because I'm seeing someone they don't like, I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with Mike before I have to go back to school, since I don't know how often I'll be able to see him after that, I'm trying to spend time with Stephen (who, by the way, knows that Mike and I are dating) since I haven't seen him in so long and he's still fun to hang out with, yet every time I do I feel like I'm trying to balance him and Mike without leaving one or the other feeling neglected, and yet I still trying to find time to do all the normal things like work and laundry and cleaning or whatever. My head is just simply spinning. I'm just tired a lot. I know, somehow, everything will work itself out. I have faith in that. But it sure is taking its sweet time about it. I'll be glad when breaca and speakup get here. Maybe going to Tara will be the escape that I need, even if it is only for a little while. Maybe I just need a vacation from my vacation.

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