July 14th, 2004


525,600 Minutes

And still no time to sleep. Woke up really early this morning to go with Mike to court--he had to take care of the ticket he got for expired tags and whatnot today. Didn't go so bad, waited for about 45 minutes, got one charge knocked off and had to pay the fines. Well, I paid the fines. He's supposed to pay me back. After that, went back to his house and passed out until about 2ish. Went to work, which was okay, except for the fact that I was still groggy. Mom nagged me about dinner, so I told her: I ate one mini cheese sandwich, two mini turkey sandwiches, two peaches, a donut and a sample of strawberry pie. See, I do eat. Anyway. Keep obsessing about Mike, and by association, Stephen. Wondering about how I really feel. I was so in love with Mike. Then I was so in love with Stephen. Now I think that while I cared very deeply about Stephen and may have been in love with him, if I wasn't just substituting for Mike. I don't know; when I'm with Mike, everything just feels like it snaps into place. Even just driving around in the car seems so right, somehow. The little voice in my head tells me this is the one. (And no, not the past life voice, although she pipes up from time to time.) I don't think I've ever been so positive of anything in my life before. So he's not perfect; I know that, neither am I. But I think we may just be perfect for each other. I know him better than anyone ever could, and he understands me more than anyone. He told me once that I was what made him invincible, what made him feel alive. I told him he was what made me feel safe. He's my Dark Bear. Nobody could ever compare to him. But, I have a big problem: my parents really don't like him. They've only met him a couple times, but I guess they think that he started everything that's made me the black sheep of the family. They're wrong. I know they're wrong. But if (okay, when) we get back together, I'm scared of what they'll do. I want my family to like my choice of partner. I want their support. But I'm afraid that if I really do go through with this like I think I will, they'll cut me off, somehow. I don't care about never making it big, or being rich, or stuff like that. But I need my family behind me. And if they're not...I don't know if I could take that. I love my family, and I know that they only want what's best for me. But can't they see that he makes me complete? All I want is for them to be happy for me. Mike is a wonderful person; I just don't know how to make them see that.
  • Current Music
    I Love the 90s on VH1

Well, duh

Bear Spirit Calls To You ~
Bear is spirit keeper of the West, the place of
darkness, maturity and good harvest. Bears are
active during the night and day. This
symbolizes its connection with solar energy,
that of strength and power, and lunar energy,
that of intuition. The bear holds the teachings
of introspection. When it shows up in your life
pay attention to how you think, act and

Bear's Wisdom Includes:





*Communication with Spirit

*Birth and rebirth


*Astral travel

*Creature of dreams, shamans and mystics


*Defense and revenge


Animal Spirit Guides ~ Which One Calls To You?
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Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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Learning is cool. Education sucks.

Well, another boring day in the life of me. Woke up, went to the bank to make a deposit so I didn't overdraft, drove around a while, found a barrette that will actually hold all of my hair at Walgreens, came home, took a nap, studied for test, took test, came home early, ate dinner, finished book, cleaned a little, and am now attempting to do yet more homework. You know, I have nothing against learning new things. I love learning new things. It's all the school you have to go through to learn the new things that pisses me off. And the three classes I'm taking this summer? I'M NOT LEARNING NEW THINGS. So it's really just a waste of time. *Sigh* The price of being overeducated.
  • Current Music
    Brent on the guitar downstairs

I must be exciting

How to make a FlutterFae

5 parts competetiveness

5 parts courage

5 parts beauty
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness


Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...erotic
Your hugs are...to die for
Your eyes...burn into my heart
Your touch is...irresistable
Your smell is...amazing
Your smile is...hypnotising
Your love is...everlasting
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