April 28th, 2006

Wendy-Bird

Explain to me...

...jealousy. I just don't get it. Hate, fear, anger, envy, loathing--those I understand. I can even sympathize. But jealousy? It is truly one of the few human emotions I simply cannot comprehend. I mean, what is the point exactly? To make yourself miserable? To make other people miserable? Why does it even exist?

I am so fed up and frustrated. I just don't understand. Why do you have to pick everything apart, and then infringe on my happiness too? Leave me out of it! Look at me; I can't even articulate properly at this point. I just want to go throw things or drown myself in the rain. You say you're my friend. You say you don't care. Then, every time I see you, EVERY TIME, you have something new to complain about, something new to grow weeds in my trust, something to undermine everything that's happened. I dread going to class now because I'm afraid you're going to be mad at me for something I did or didn't do. My GOD!! Fine. If you want him, you can have him. He's all yours. Just leave me out of it, okay?

But you know what? I fucking HATE this.
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