January 22nd, 2010

Wesley As You Wish

There must be something in the water...good thing I only drink soda

Interesting day today. At the Castle with John; he was WAY out of it and I could tell. Casting may or may not have been watching one of our shows-don't know, don't care. I wasn't feeling too great myself. Almost got up an hour early this morning cuz when I set my alarm last night I accidentally changed the time. Smart girl. 'Course, it wouldn't have mattered much, my allergies are so bad right now that the drainage is making my throat feel like I'm trying to swallow knives pointy-side-out. Bad headache (probably from the allergies), cramps, sneezing and upset tummy do not a happy Carlye make. Is okay, got better. Worked with Tim today...and finally got up the guts to confront him about the sexting. At first he tried to deny it, but then he admitted I was right. I asked him why he would think that was okay, and he replied that he didn't really think about it. So I asked him how he would feel if I decided to start sexting some other boy; he decided he didn't like that very much. After much explanation of disappointment on my part (in which I should have just ended the whole thing and walked away) I extracted a promise: I told him I wasn't going to forbid him to do something, because I wasn't going to change him and I didn't want him to start to resent me, but the next time something like this arises, I made him promise to think about from MY point of view. We ran around in verbal circles for about an hour, during which I did most of the talking, and he did most of the agreeing and flattery (which I didn't mind, though I would have appreciated more opining from him). Long story short: He loves me, he wants me, he's not ready to be with me. .....remind me WHY I keep putting up with this??? (Because, Carlye, you love him, you want him, and you'll do whatever it takes to be with him.) Oh, yeah....but WHY?!?!?! (Oh. Well, THAT I have no idea....) Gee. Thanks.
Anyway...
Came home and took a shower to go out. My friend David was proposing to his girlfriend tonight, and he organized a party afterward with his and her families and some of their friends to celebrate. She said yes!! (Thankfully, since this was their 6-MONTH ANNIVERSARY.) Seriously, I really do think something is in the water. In the last 4 days ALONE at least THREE couples have gotten engaged. I am not even joking. It's like a freaking epidemic over here. Frankly, I'm GLAD I'm not engaged right now. I'm not ready. I thought I was 4 years ago, but I wasn't. NO, I'm not in a stable relationship. NO, I'm not sure this person that I love is THE ONE for me. YES, he makes me deliriously happy, and absolutely miserable. NO, I'm not ready to settle down. YES, I'm extremely envious. Do I wish I had that? Yes. Am I ready for that? NO. Gads, sometimes I'm such a child.
Regardless, David proposed and she said yes, and we celebrated and took pictures, and I froze on my way back to the car. 60 degrees is downright chilly in Florida. Looked hot doing it, and got to wear my peep-toe, rhinestone red patent leather heels for the first time! *grin* Totally worth the effort.
Falling asleep at the computer, time to go to bed. Good night, moon...
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    envious envious